Marriage

I've been having a rough time lately understanding marriages. I have become so angry with the world. I have watched countless marriages struggle this year. Many I tried emulating because they seemed to have it all together. I watched the whole mess unravel and started to wonder, how does it get this bad? What has to happen in order for them to wake up and just not care? How do you look at this person who brought you children and not feel anything? I can't even begin to describe the pain my heart feels for these people. Not because of the divorces or separations or for the child custody agreements, but mostly because of their ignorance. When someone says, "It was just meant to happen," or "It was just getting too hard," I cringe. Life was never promised to be easy. Put in the work, put in the effort. Love someone whole-heartedly no matter how much it hurts. No matter how afraid you are of it all blowing up in your face. If you put 100% of yourself into your relationships, whether it be with your spouse, your mother or your kids, you'll find how much easier it is to squash a problem when it surfaces. Quit misinterpreting everything your spouse does as them not caring or as them pushing you away. Put on your big kid pants, sit them down and face the problem head on. Chances are they will open up, they will tell you how they feel and you can take it all on together. Stop going to other people for advice. I have watched so many of my friends fuel a problem in another's marriage. "You deserve better," or "They are definitely wrong." There is not right or wrong in marriage, there is compromise. Learn to give and learn to take. It's never going to be 100% you or 100% them anymore. It's two people coming together and making a life as one, not just living in the same house and carrying on the same way you did before marriage. Get a joint checking account, make dinners you don't necessarily like, wear the ugly Christmas shirt she wants you to wear. Compromise. Do things for each other just for the simple satisfaction of watching them smile. Most of all try. Try anything and everything that you can think of to save the relationship that you solidified before God. Marriage is much, much more than a piece of paper, a loveseat and one meal a day. Work at it, don't throw everything away over a stupid argument about a job, or a bill. Love each other. Remind yourself everyday why you chose to be with them, why they embedded themselves so deep into your soul that you had to give them your last name. Fight for each other and don't stop. Don't quit until there is nothing left.